The Freaks of Nature: The Caliph of California

  Holding nothing back we bring you a rare interview with one of the leaders of one of those hypothetical “NO GO ZONES,” that Fox News “experts” keep blabbing on about.    

It just so happens that this particular community is a Caliphate.  A Caliphate is a form of an Islamic community lead by a Caliph who is kind of like a king.  That doesn’t sound too bad does it?

Anyway the ironic part is that this Caliph is located in California.  So I introduce to you…the Caliph of California.

Dr. X (the man in the mask)





Jesus Was a Communist

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    So forget this hippie laid back image of the Christ man.  Workers of the world unite cause this guy was a fucking marxist super hero.

  Jesus christ was a communist, everything that he taught aligns with what we would consider to be communism.  He advocated a classless society, he preached collectivism, he told rich people to give up their belongings to follow him and he abhorred the elite ruling class authority. Just face it Jesus was a total commie. 

So then why is it that Christianity is the go to ideology for evangelist anglo-saxon neo conservatives you ask?   Brainwashing.  If you actually read the teachings of Christ you’d find it very hard to use is as a way to teach people to selfishly seek their own personal egotistic advantage and gain. 

   Once the church realized that it could make money it did its best to  obfuscate the central teachings of Christ.  In this way throughout history the Christian ideology has been molded to fit the needs of many  political agendas of ruling elites.

   However when you stay true to the central doctrines of Christ’ teachings  You’ll find that there is no way he was into any individualism or wealth seeking.  In fact he said “it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God,” (Mark 10:25)  And where was this kingdom of God you ask? 

  Jeebus constantly alluded to where the kingdom of god is: “the kingdom of god is in you” “The kingdom of God is in your midst,” “The kingdom of God is near.”  Where oh where could it be near to?  Planet xarblocks 6? No…The Kingdom of god is on fucking Earth. IT’S HERE! Sure Jesus sometimes got into some serious spiritual hippie shit but he was mainly concerned with bringing his communist manifesto to the material world and helping people in the material world (Matthew 25:35-40)  Marx saw that history was shaped by  material forces.  As technologies and markets changed so did economy and society.  From this struggle of people to coexist there eventually developed conflicts because where there were those that prospered off of those that suffered.  Always the upperclass leeched off of the lower class.  Jesus saw this and decided he would put a stop to it by making a commune of his own in a bronze age social experiment.  

   So this kingdom sounds pretty good huh?  How do you join the Christ club?   

     Jesus made it very clear how to get into his tight nit community of followers.  To enter into the christian community you had to renounce the private ownership of your goods. (Mark 10:21-25) If you were to ask Marx to boil down communism into one simple concept he would say the exact same thing as Jesus did, “abolition of private property.”  Jesus fucking hated private property just like marx!!! (Luke 14:33) 

     He  stood behind the proletariat in fact he was constantly alluding to the power inherent within the poor. Likewise Marx saw the working class as the “revolutionary class” because they were the class, in Marxs eyes, the held the power to use revolution as a means to achieve its own ends and install a dictatorship of the proletariat.  Christ talks about the tearing down of the upper class and raising a society where the “humble” rules instead of kings, (Luke 1:52.) He places power directly in the hands of the poor.  This new society would be collectivized where people who abandoned their possessions to enter into the kingdom were taken care of by the community.  (Acts 4:32) (Acts 2:44-50) I mean isn’t Acts 4:34-35 just another way of saying “From each according to his ability to each according to his need?  

  So basically if you want to be a part of the christ cliche you had to choose between following him or money, cause one cannot have two masters. It’s ironic that there is a Christian company called “Not of this world” misrepresenting the John 18:36 where christ says “My Kingdom is Not of this world.”  It’s ironic because it is an example of the market mediating Christian doctrine to promulgate it’s capitalist agenda and sell goods on the market.  If you think it’s funny your either a Christian or a Communist.  

An Act of God on a Wednesday Afternoon

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“Do you want to hear about the most crazy thing that just happened to me?” My friend asks me over the phone.

I’m in the middle of eating and literally a piece of chicken is dangling out of my mouth and yet I am totally intrigued by that simple little sentence. “Want to hear something crazy that just happened to me?”  I think, “God that’s a riveting phrase to captivate an audience, I ought to use that as the headline of my blog.”

“What happened?”  I ask curiously as I am now locked into his every word.

“Get this, So today I had to mail out these items to clients. I figure I’ll swing by the post office around 4:00…You with me so far dude?”

I grunt something in the affirmative as I stuff down another piece of chicken into my mouth.

“So before I can take these packages I have to print up labels.  It usually doesn’t take that long to print em out so I put it off until 3:30.”
“The suspense is killing me,” I say sarcastically.

“Just wait.” he says, “So I sit down to turn on my computer and the entire system crashes on me.  I reboot it wondering why it all of a sudden dies on me, considering it had been working fine all morning.”

“It takes me like twenty minutes just to get everything working again.  I am getting frustrated as I try to get the label software working correctly but it keeps cracking out on me.  Something that was supposed to take me ten minutes ends up taking me over an hour.  By the end of it all I am seething in frustration and anger.”

“What was wrong with it?”

“I dunno,” he said, “It’s the weirdest thing… I finally get all the labels printed and applied but I am just too livid to even leave the house.  My wife, as she is walking out the door, sees me in this decrepit state of frustration and asks if I’d like her to drop off the packages on her way to work.And do you know what I say to her? ”


“I say: You might as well, because the entire universe is conspiring to keep me from getting to the post office on time…the ENTIRE universe.

“That sounds crazy!” I say.

“That’s not the crazy part boss, I get a call from my wife about ten minutes later.  The entire place is sealed off with cops. Apparently at 4:00 a lone gunman walked  into the post office and holds the place up: At 4:00.”

I nearly choke on my food, “Do you mean to tell me that if you had made it to the post office on time…?”

“I would have had a gun pointed in my face.”

“Thats an act of Fucking GOD!”  I say.

“Divine intervention,” he says. “But the moral of the story…sometimes the things that piss us off and make us struggle are there for our own good in the end.”

Read about the actual post office robbery>>>>>>>>> RIGHT HERE! 

Inventing Mythology: Constructing Cultural Identity with a Comic Book


For the past two months I have been putting out a comic book in my home city of San Diego.  It has libidinal elements which fetishize it into commodity.  This disguises it among the myriad of market products.  It appears specialized, almost as if it comes from a cultural institution like a church or a political group.  It has specific lettering which mimics tribal and meso-american art and it mixes the symbols of the sacred with the profane.At first glance it would appear that this small leaflet is a reference to some sort of academic text; perhaps a legend, mythology or a manifesto.

A person might not immediately realize that these books don’t refer to any preexisting established narrative.  Despite being entirely fiction it gains it’s own authenticity simply through codifying itself within a framework of existing settings and symbols.  e.g.,  regions, traditions and historical peoples. In this way my comic book uses a narrative to distort the preexisting cultural elements as an attempt to generate its own ethos with the illusion of historicity.  It thus places the context of meaning within the these symbols it borrows. This would be ethnogenic as upon reading and referring the tale to the socially established codes which it refers  it would promulgate a cultural identity that had not previously existed.  This is coming from the premise that cultural identity temporalizes itself through historical narrative.

This implied historicity makes my comic a hyper real simulation of cultural identity.  Cultural identity is the result of interdependent forces that define roles, reward status, govern behavior and order power relations of its members.  Since the post modern person today adjusts ones social being to different contexts it is possible to introduce a new model which presents itself as  a pseudo identity without interfering with the normal social order.

I hope to write more on this later:

The History of San Diego: Part 2

Our ancient civilization has endured over the millennium.  These great lands and noble people have shaped the landscape of our histories. We have a distinctly San Diegan ethos which we must cultivate and let blossom.Here in its second installment is part 2 of the epic tale of the lands under the sacred sun.  These books honor the foundation of our culture and solidify our personal identity as San Diegans, setting us apart in solidarity as a people.  Here is the tale of Lord Ranchero Santa Fe and how he thought he could sit on high and thus be entitled as a “true” San Diegan.These stories instill us with a sense of our noble morality.  Forever shall the classics endure in the minds and hearts of our children as we pass them on to future San Diegans for generations to come.







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